Poems for my Lola Epyon

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LOLA #1

Your absence is being born, and while
my head wanted it to leave me soon
so you will journey on peacefully
in the land where there is no age or pain,
my heart wanted it to dwell within me
so you will stay afloat in my air
where I can smell your presence.
I am in a difficult labor now, and
even refuse to give birth to it.
The bed is placid with your leaving it
and your blended food did not await
your return. Your slippers will forever be away
and here I am, not ready to release
your absolute absence in this world.
I fear to mother it. I fear it woud grow on me.

1.3.20 6.44am

***

Lola #2

I went to the garden
to gather the falling leaves
like when I went to your room.
One by one, I picked up
brown crisp lifeless leaves
like when I gathered
your cup, pillows, unused diapers.
I picked them out one by one
as I also gathered my thoughts:
brown leaves amidst the chichiricas,
giving way to a chain of lively shrubs;
crisp leaves between the vietnam roses,
allowing new sets of budding flowers;
lifeless leaves among the grasses,
making the carabao grasses greener.
Leaves leave so you did too.
Thank you for gracing our garden.

1.5.21
6:15am

***

LOLA #3

You left when the world
frenzied over fireworks
but in the last few days
you arrived in moments
in between the times
the world busied itself.
you arrive with your songs
your smile, your sour sweat
in paper roses, in kiniray-a
your sewn clothes, your face
your duster, your songbook
a few hairs, your voice
your long bath time, your false teeth
your pumice stone, your vitamins
your catechism, a whiff of you
your trailing nose when you kiss
your just being there in a corner
your quiet rooting within us all.

1.6.21
6:16am


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