Love Your Self, A message in celebration of the International Day of the Elimination of Violence Against Women

I am reposting here the message I gave before the women's group in La Carlota City nine years ago as their keynote speaker during the yearly Anti-VAWC Campaign. It keeps popping up in my facebook memories as my Note, so I am putting it forth in my blog.

To our ever-supportive Vice Mayor, Hon. David Baga Jr., to our energetic DSWD head Mrs. Julia Uy, to Ms. Melende Eseller of DSWD office, to Mrs. Mae Yanson of DILG Office, and to all ladies and gentlemen who are present here in honor of the women we all love, a pleasant evening.

Tonight, we are gathered here to celebrate the International Day of the Elimination of Violence Against Women which kicked off last November 25 the “18-Day Campaign to end Violence Against Women” and will end comes December 10. And it is not a coincidence that December 10 is the International Human Rights Day.

 

When we hear of the words gender violence and human rights violations, we get a grim picture of battered women, dying women, dead women. We flash back news on crying children, defenseless children, unmothered children. So, what good is there in commemorating, in celebrating during these two important international activities?

Every time we remember the gender violence and human rights violations and acknowledging their continuing prevalence in our society today, we are all called forth to celebrate Life. We are all called forth to save Lives.

Hence, this year’s international theme, “Building partnerships to combat violence against women” and this year’s national theme : “Magna Carta ni Pinay: Gawing Tunay “Karahasan sa Kababaihan, Wakasan!” call forth the SOCIETY to stop gender violence and human rights violations.

But I am not delving into the theme’s call for inter-agencies cooperation. We already have the Anti VAW-C law as well as partnership with our law enforcement agencies, other government agencies and the concerned NGOs. What’s more? We have our friends and neighbours who truly care for us. Hence, tonight,  I am delving into EVERY WOMAN’S CAPACITY TO LOVE HERSELF.

If a woman has a conscious definition of loving herself, she does not need any other reason to go out and admit that she is a battered woman. She does not need to make her reputation or profession as a reason in speaking out. She does not need children to make the reason for her asserting her rights. She does not need any excuses, she only needs to make herself the reason for fighting the cause.

From the day one of each child’s life, every parent is guilty in assigning roles, even in the person’s capacity to care. When a boy is born, almost every parent will say, he will carry the name of the family and go out and make NAME in the world. And when a girl is born, she is almost always expected to be the one who will stay at home and take care of her parents in old age or the one who will take care of the other siblings. Of course, this is wrong, born boy or girl, every child has the capacity to care and has the capability to assume the caring role.

Because of this assigned role of carrying the burden of caring for other people from day one, a girl turns into a woman without realizing that mothering others is EQUALLY IMPORTANT as mothering one’s self.

There is no selfishness in self-nurturing, in self-mothering. Instead, a woman who loves herself, who has the capacity to care and nurture herself is likened to a fountain which is filled up with water. It is only when the woman has a full realization of the importance of caring for herself, that the fountain of her love can sprinkle water. If there is no full realization on her part, there will be no overflowing of water. Hence, she cannot share genuine love if she herself does not realize the importance of genuine self-love.

A woman who loves herself, who cares for herself, who nurtures herself, who self-mothers herself knows all too well that she does not deserve to be violated. With this realization, the chain of violence is unshackled. And, as we all very well know, the first step in every case of battery is the coming out of a woman, acknowledging that she is a battered woman. This shout for help from a woman gives life to the Anti VAWC law, fires up the engine of our forefront government agencies, and even brightens up the day of our worried relatives, concerned neighbours and bothered friends. Most of all, it is the end of the cycle and the start of another bright new one.

Lastly, let me share to you my self-formulated mantra: The only relationship you will never ever lose is your relationship with yourself. Love it. Nurture it. Don’t lose it.

And also, a quote from an inspirational writer & speaker, Katherine Sharp: Sometime in your life you will go on a journey. It will be the longest journey you have ever taken. It is the journey to find yourself.

Again, a pleasant evening everyone.

2 December 2010
La Carlota City